It breaks my heart how many women struggle in the early stages of dating a new man. By early stage, I mean you don’t know where you stand or how he feels. In my years of coaching women more often than not, they start moving things along toward a relationship before they know how he feels about her. They make up all kinds of things in their head to try to explain his lack of interest.

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Then, go back to the long list and find the items that you must have, but could come later. I happen to want a world traveler. I could probably teach someone the joys of traveling the world later on. This is not about changing someone, however. No home improvement projects allowed. Get these lists out frequently so you can remind yourself that you’re looking for more than just a pretty face. Stay in touch with your friend who has the “must have” list. Be honest with them about whether or not the new person you’re dating has these qualities and traits. If not, say good-bye and keep searching. Use your friend as support. If you’re clear and firm about this, you won’t waste time and you’ll manifest your perfect partner much sooner.

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Having sex too soon is one of the most frequent mistakes women make. Yes, this is the modern age where women can have as much sex as they want. But if your goal is to develop a long-term relationship, you need to wait until you have a conversation about being exclusive. That means neither of you will date anyone else or have sex with anyone else

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So here are three ways you’ll know if he’s into you so you can save yourself a whole lot of grief: 1. He’ll make dates with you. If a man is into you, he assumes other men will be as well. He doesn’t want to lose out to another man. So he’s going to want to tie up your time. This is why you don’t become completely available to his every gesture. Stay busy, date other men, and don’t sit around waiting for his call, text or email. This alone could cause him to lose interest.

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After you feel you really have completed your list, go through and pick the things that absolutely must be in place when you meet this person. An example would be integrity. That’s something that, generally, as an adult, a person already has, or not. My list had eight items. This is the list you carry around with you. Give a copy to a trusted friend. If any of these things are missing, you must say good-bye to any new person you meet. If you don’t, you’re not being true to yourself and you’ll pay for it later.

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